I could have every single part of your body pressed against mine and I’d still say ‘pull me closer’.
ethereal, adj. — You leaned your head into mine, and I leaned my head into yours. Dancing cheek to cheek. Revolving slowly, eyes closed, heartbeat measure, nature’s hum. It lasted the length of an old song, and then we stopped, kissed, and my heart stayed there, just like that.
Be soft, kind and loving. But also take nobody’s shit.
Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It’s for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough.
I love being horribly straightforward. I love sending reckless text messages (because how reckless can a form of digitized communication be?) and telling people I love them and telling people they are absolutely magical humans and I cannot believe they really exist. I love saying, “Kiss me harder,” and “You’re a good person,” and, “You brighten my day.” I live my life as straight-forward as possible.
Because one day, I might get hit by a bus.
Maybe it’s weird. Maybe it’s scary. Maybe it seems downright impossible to just be—to just let people know you want them, need them, feel like, in this very moment, you will die if you do not see them, hold them, touch them in some way whether its your feet on their thighs on the couch or your tongue in their mouth or your heart in their hands.
But there is nothing more beautiful than being desperate.
And there is nothing more risky than pretending not to care.
We are young and we are human and we are beautiful and we are not as in control as we think we are. We never know who needs us back. We never know the magic that can arise between ourselves and other humans.
We never know when the bus is coming.
Oh. Oh dear child. Yes. *hugs* I am so happy and jealous of you.
Let me tell you this: you are in for the most wonderful experience. There are so many things I want to tell you, so many experiences I wish that I could share with you. It’s scary. It’s going to be really fucking scary. I cried and missed home a lot my first year or so. It took me a while to really make friends outside of my roommates from back home. And to be honest with you, I thought that was how college was going to go. But then you find your group. You find a group of people you love and love being around and who just, like, get you. You’ll be totally different people, but you will add something so precious to their lives. And the next thing you know you’ll be spending afternoons walking down Valencia, going to Dolores Park, spread out on the grass, drinking beers. Or you’ll be sharing a cab with this person you really like and their hand is inches from yours. Or you’ll be reading downtown with hundreds of tourists around you, thinking, “Fuck. I live here. I live here.” And you’ll understand how amazing it all is and that, even though you went into this whole thing scared as hell, you came out so much more fascinated by the complexities of life and the paths it can take you down.
At least that’s how it was for me. I hope that it is something like that. Or something totally different. Just as long as you make the most of it. Okay? Okay.
You extend your hand
to my chest,
out of myself.
Vision fleeting, lasting
only a few moments,
just long enough to see
floating to you
finding new home
in your pocket,
you walk away.
My body goes limp,
I exist only as
a warm apparition,
jostling with each stride
upon your breast.
There is no turning back now.
I always knew you would be the death of me.
Navin’s note: Powerful!
I am no longer in love with her, that’s certain, but maybe I love her. Love is so short, forgetting is so long.